How Right can be so Wrong

Tim O’Brien’s “Across the Rainy River” is a tale of compassion and shame. A story of never ceasing guilt. More so than some other chapters in his book The Things They Carried, O’Brien looks to bring his dilemma to readers on an extremely personal level. During that summer of his life and his time spent at Tip Top Lodge, he endured a most extreme reflection of society and self. From the time he got drafted for the Viet Nam war, he knew he had the choice to flee, but he also knew that he never would.
At first through his writing, you gather that he was afraid and ashamed of being a coward. Being a coward in this case meant wriggling out of the draft, finding some way not to go to war, “I feared losing the respect of my parents. I feared the law. I feared ridicule and censure.” (O’Brien 45). He feared of how the old folks at his local café would talk about the “young O’Brien kid, how the damn sissy took off for Canada” (O’Brien 45). The common American view is that draft dodgers are yellow bellied cowards. Perhaps older people resort to ridiculing these so called “sissies” because they resent the wars in their own pasts. Perhaps ignorant people belittle these “cowards” because they don’t know what war is like, or the quiet don’t speak up about it because they cannot or are afraid to express their thoughts.
O’Brien expresses his own definition of cowardice towards the end. He felt guilt and shame before, thinking about doing what he believed was right and not joining the Viet Nam war. However, because he did what is socially considered to be the correct and brave thing by going to Viet Nam, he has had to live with a separate guilt every day. “I survived, but it’s not a happy ending. I was a coward. I went to war.” (O’Brien 61). His shame lies with him “going with the grain”, following the leader, peer pressure. Going to war didn’t change his mind that the war was wrong, it just made him feel worse that he didn’t follow his heart, didn’t follow reason, and wasn’t brave.

O’Brien, Tim. “Across the Rainy River.” The Things They Carried. 1990. 22 June 2010. Print.

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